Thank you for finding your way to my post this afternoon. I took some time off from writing to manage some of my stress and anxiety, but decided that I need to write again, as this is an outlet I have always found to help.
Over the last few weeks, Universal Orlando Resort re-opened its gate and I went back to work with many procedures in place to prioritize the health and safety of team members and guest. I got three new khaki masks to wear and wash, along with hand sanitizer placed everywhere. I made it through the first week and the first time interacting with guests again since March. Things seemed to be working but I noticed a definite decrease in attendance which at times was boring. I love talking and interacting with guests, even if they can be difficult.
Also going on in the world right now is the Black Lives Matter movement, which I haven’t shared much of my thoughts on because I honestly don’t know what to say or do other than voice my support by sharing posts on Facebook. I have a lot of friends who mean a lot to me, including my boyfriend, who are black. They are some of the best, most genuine people I have ever met and I respect the heck out of them. Their voice and passion to speak out about what is happening is inspiring and I am absolutely so proud to be friends with them. I support Black Lives Matter because it is so much more. It is about fighting for social justice. It is about fighting for equality and freedom. It is about opening conversations with eachother and the law enforcement to create a positive change for everyone. A big shoutout to my good friend Cedric who designed this beautiful graphic to support Black Lives Matter specifically in Orlando, Florida.
And before you use the graphic, read the following message from the creator:
There is still stigma around mental health and seeking help. For whatever reason people tend to be scared to address very real issues that they face revolving around their mental health and well-being. I always say self-care is very important. It shows that you take an interest in caring for you mental health because it is just as important as your physical health.
Sadly, I have not taken my own advice the last few weeks. For unknown reasons, I have experienced anxiety like never before. Nausea, upset stomach and shaking at night. I don’t understand what my body is trying to tell me anymore. I talked to my mom about it and she recommends going to see a doctor again. It is not that I don’t want to do that, but rightnow is not the easiest time to schedule an appointment as a new patient. I want to seek help because I want to feel better, but I also have too much pride to try anxiety medication, even though I know it is not a bad thing. Many people use medication for anxiety! I also feel like I will disappoint myself because in the past I have been so good at managing and coping my stress and anxiety.
I am learning more about myself during this pandemic than I ever thought I could learn. Feeling upset is okay. Feeling confused is fine. Frustrated, made, happy, scared, nervous, these are all normal feelings and it is good to accept them then let them go. Don’t be afraid to help yourself feel better.