At the beginning of April, I made a life changing decision.
I ended my 4-year long relationship. It was the best decision for me as I was no longer happy and reluctantly came to that conclusion. I had been fooling myself and stupidly hoping that things would change and get better, then constantly disappointed when it didn’t. I had mentally checked out of that relationship for a while but struggled deeply to end it.
I’m sharing a damselfly I took recently while visiting Mead Botanical Gardens because he is a representation of lightness, change, and new beginnings. He is the idea of changing for the better and moving on from negativity in life. He’s also adorbale and posed perfectly for me.
It’s learning what it’s like to be on your own two feet.
Nothing about a breakup is ever easy, even if you are ready to pull the plug. It’s emotional. It’s lonely. It’s learning what it’s like to be on your own two feet again.
I am important and worthy of so much. I am doing right by me and listening to my wants and desires. I am reaching out to friends, making plans, having fun. This is the only life I get to live, and I am done sitting around waiting for something to fall out of the heavens. I’ve never been very religious, but I did grow up Catholic. Whatever higher being is up there, whether it’s God or something else, if you have a plan that’s great, but I am the one who gets to choose how it unfolds.
Learning to love again, I know, won’t be easy. And it’s definitely evident in this online dating scene. You like someone. You match. You talk (maybe). Rinse and Repeat. It’s exhausting, stressful, and confusing. For someone who is so full of hope, getting back out there really feels hopeless. And it’s hard to continue to smile and push forward and put myself out there to be let down and disappointed again.
I set out to write a positive piece about myself and my journey of healing and rediscovery, but it’s hard. It’s hard to love again. It’s hard to find your happiness. It’s hard to live in the present. I’m stil trying and my journey isn’t over. I accept that the highs will be high and the lows will be low. One day at a time. Thank you for reading this far and I wish you all love, happiness and good vibes. Goodness knows we could all use some.
GreenWorldGlimpse 
🦇🦋🫂🤗
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