You are Making Progress

I picked up a book last year that I thought would be a good addition to my library, and would provide a visual for the healing journey I knew I would be going through.

When You’re Ready This is How You Heal by Brianna Weist

I’ve been reading this slowly at my own pace with no hard deadline to finish. Getting through a chapter or two at a time and really reflecting on myself and life. I decided to jot down thoughts in the margins and bookmark anything that stands out to me. This way I can use it as a kind of journal to chronical what’s going on as I process and absorb the content. So far it’s been working out great! I’ve found much of what I’ve read to be quite relatable. The author has posed questions and ideas from a different perspective that have ended up challenging my own ideals.

Recently I came to the chapter “10 Signs You’re Actually Making Progress in Life, Even if it doesn’t Fell Like You Are”. Immediately I knew this was the chapter I’d been needing to read. Over the last few months, I’ve had a lot of positive change in my life, yet at times still feel so broken. When upset I find myself repeating bad habits of thinking that I am a problem. I’ve cried over big and little things. When I cry, it’s a huge release of whatever emotion I’m feeling, but it’s also a moment of vulnerability. I sometimes wish I didn’t overreact to the small things. I wish I could keep my emotions in check and just move on or let it roll off my back. But I remind myself that it’s okay. I am allowed to feel everything no matter the intensity. This acceptance is progress aeven if I don’t believe it sometimes.

In response to this, I wrote a few things in the margin of the book and shared with my boyfriend. I’ve been feeling a lot. Sweating over the small stuff and being overly sensitive. It’s things from my past that I’m still working through and dealing with. Now, I’m able to sort through it in a safe space. I can be as emotional as I am because I know my boyfriend won’t judge me. Because I know he won’t love me any differently. I did suppress a lot of my feelings growing up because I thought everyone else’s were more important. But I know that’s not true.

I shared another part of the chapter with my boyfriend because it’s something we already kind of do, that I think helps me. I asked him to help me with staying grounded in the facts of a situation. The book says, “a way to instantly calm yourself down and get clear on that’s really happening is to speak the facts about the situation, or what you feel about the situation, as simply as you can.” It does take me longer to get over something in the moment, so we will work together to help that along as best as we can. But even recognizing this, is progress and a step in the right direction of healing and growth.

As always thanks for sticking around if you made it this far and see you on the next adventure!